Searching for God in nature, photography, whiskey, books and art…. whatever rant I am compelled to voice

Posts tagged “Ordinary Sparrow

ORDINARY SPARROW AND OTHER BLOGS I ENJOY

I am cleaning up my links this week…some blogs that I like cease to exist and I have found new ones to add to my Blogroll. Today I am sharing the blogs I already read but haven’t had time to keep up with in the last few months but now that I am set for Christmas I have more time.One of my favorite bloggers is Ordinary Sparrow. Her blogs are  filled with beauty and grace… perfect getaway for this busy holiday season!

Here are her ever expanding blogs

ORDINARY SPARROW

ORDINARY SPARROW’S MOTHER NATURE

ORDINARY SPARROW’S SACRED SILENCE
For those of you who like to travel and learn about new places:

The guy that does A LANDING A DAY has his computer programmed to pick a random place in the United States and he proceeds to write about the geographical and historical surrounding….has a thing about watersheds too! Like I said its random so sometimes he ends up in the desert! ! although he finds a way to make it interesting!!

A LANDING A DAY .

Here is an Oregon blogger…they take quite a few good pictures and always seem to be having fun traveling and partying…not sure if it is a group but the photos are good!

50 BACKFLIPS

This is a another Oregon blogger who posts pictures but not so regularly…

PNW PHOTOBLOG (Pacific Northwest)

If you like photographs AND food for thought of the political/cultural check out Eugene Johnson’s…

PUDGY INDIAN 2

Speaking of FOOD!! Here is an awesome blog from the Portland (Oregon) area…they are lucky I live on the other side of Oregon or I would turn into the uninvited guest that shows up at mealtimes!! (just joking)

BREAD & HONEY


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ANNA MAE AQUASH 57/ JANCITA EAGLE DEER/ANATOMY OF A THREAT

All excerpts are in italics and from THE UNQUIET GRAVE by Steve Hendricks.

I have been avoiding these posts because of this chapter on Bill Janklow and Jancita Eagle Deer. It’s like I want to crawl out of my skin….turn myself inside out rip my heart out. It drives me crazy.. I wish I could copy and paste this part of the story because I want it to be over…but I have to read and type because I can’t find a good version of what happened.

I wrote the above early yesterday morning and had to quit…the story of  Jancita Eagle Deer is so sad and filled with despair…one of the many reasons that Joseph Trimbach and his FBI colleagues should be in jail along with some goons, Bill Janklow, probably half of the United States government…Monica probably thinks it should be more! (finally I made myself laugh this morning)

There seems to be little support or concern for Indian women…the men of AIM  beat their chests and congratulate themselves….they seem to be more concerned with a power struggle and prestige…titles. Things the white government has taught. It is the same for all women…we have lost much of the ground during the eight years of the Bush administration…but in America today it seems that Indian women are so strong and the most abused and looked down upon.

I think the two stories have been merging on me as of late…injustice for women continues. You can read more about Anatomy of a Threat on THE ABUSE PAPERS

Strong women

Here is a picture of Jancita Eagle Deer and a link to her story here and here and here.

jancita

Other strong and beautiful women I have encountered surrounding this and the issue of abuse are

Monica Charles who got me involved in this

Martha Alvarez a young woman who speaks with such conviction against her abuser…she  has inspired bloggers to confront the issue.

Anna Mae Aquash who through her spirit is working tirelessly as ever.(There are  no sites that I know of that are non-biased about Anna Mae Aquash…they all seem to have an agenda. Everyone has an opinion and everyone thinks that they are right. While I am reading The Unquiet Grave, I have formed no opinion on who did it. I do have a strong opinion that the FBI was grossly negligent and incompetent in their duties to American citizens.

Shusli of Spring Thunder blog who was one of the original supporters of Martha Alvarez’s right to speak against her abuser.

Mary Ann Little Bear a little girl who had her eye shot out and the FBI and BIA police couldn’t be bothered to investigate. I truly hope she is doing well now.

Ellen Moves Camp...who had the courage to ask “Where are all our men?”

I have encountered some good men, the most graceful and humble Jumpybird on alt.native he probably does not know that his example does have a profound effect on some.Then there is  brave Eugene Johnson from Pudgy Indian 2….Having a hard time coming up with more will add them later if I can think of any.

Peace to all..

and my prayers to Runningwolf in this difficult time she is experiencing.

STAIRWAY IN REDWOODS

PICT1079

PICT0668

PICT0857

PICT1242

PICT0873

PICT0875

LONE POPPY BUD

Much love to Ordinary Sparrow who is a constant reminder that there is another way.

AMEN!


JUST IN CASE YOUR NOT TIRED OF REDWOOD PHOTOS!!!

But to begin a reminder via Ordinary Sparrow….(how is it that everything she writes is a message to me???)

HONOR by Joy Harjo

Honor everyone who crosses your path. Everyone includes time as a person or persons. It includes sky, earth, air, water and other elemental beings. It includes your body. Think kindly; think light. Even each email, text, each word is a transmission. Each transaction brings either light or confusion. Paying attention is honoring. I will never forget the roly-poly bug making his way across the bathroom of my hotel room in Kolkata. It was only when I went into my light body, in which we were equal, that I saw the light around him, and the light trail his path made across the bathroom floor.

I have been struggling with this issue for the last twenty hours and when I read this my emotional chaos melted away….

These are from my last trip to the Redwoods I finally got the film back from Costco and they must have done something cause they turned out pretty good…for me.

I LOVE THESE WOODEN BRIDGES

I LOVE THESE WOODEN BRIDGES

I ALSO LOVE THE DESIGNS ON THE BARK

I ALSO LOVE THE DESIGNS ON THE BARK

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BEEN MEANING TO BUY A FILTER FOR MY CAMERA...THOSE ARE NOT ORBS

BEEN MEANING TO BUY A FILTER FOR MY CAMERA...THOSE ARE NOT ORBS

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WASN'T SURE IF IT WAS GOING TO GRAB ME WHEN I WALKED BY

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CUTEST LITTLE SKUNK CABBAGE

CUTEST LITTLE SKUNK CABBAGE

YOU WOULD THINK THIS WOULD LEAD TO ENLIGHTENMENT!!!

YOU WOULD THINK THIS WOULD LEAD TO ENLIGHTENMENT!!!

YES I TAKE PHOTOS OF TREE BARK!! I WANT TO REMEMBER IT

YES I TAKE PHOTOS OF TREE BARK!! I WANT TO REMEMBER IT

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FROM INSIDE A BURNED OUT TREE

FROM INSIDE A BURNED OUT TREE KIND OF LIKE THE VIEW OF MY SOUL LOOKING AT ORDINARY SPARROWS BLOG!!!

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I AM IN LOVE WITH LIGHT HITTING THE GREEN LEAVES

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TRILLIUM RULE KIND OF LIKE SPRINKLES ON ICE CREAM

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WHY CAN'T I BE LIKE THAT FLOWER AND JUST "BE" NOT A "STILL" CELL IN MY BODY


TRYING TO FIND BALANCE ON THE BLOG

When I started this blog as you can see by the description I meant it to be more fun and then that post on Buffy Sainte Marie sent it off in another direction…..such is life. While Monica Charles opened the door to exploring our  history it was those dumb fucks trolls at AMERICAN INDIAN MAFIA who shoved me through the door.

I almost put this poem up on the last Anna Mae installment….I started laughing when I read it…..sort of reminds me of me…..asking Monica too many questions!

WOUNDED KNEE 1973 #2

You asked me what I did at Wounded Knee
“What is the woman’s role in history?”
“Did you hold a rifle on the rooftop?”
“Did you know my friend, he said he was there?”
“He wore a denim coat, and cowboy boots.”
“He likes to tell stories and laughs a lot.”
“He’s vain about his braided hair with an
Eagle feather fluttering in the wind?”
“Did you meet anybody famous there?”

Breathing icicles, hunger thundering
Death guessing our names chasing away sleep
Frozen fingers stitched quilts from old clothes
We made the men trigger finger mittens
A teacher from Brooklyn started a school
Cooks made magic with plain macaroni
For seventy one days of sweet freedom
We laughed and danced and prayed on a frozen world
Made from our fate dreamemd by the Ghost Dancers

I have been feeling out of balance and out of sorts at times and then along comes Ordinary Sparrow to bring me back towards the center. I was way over the line and brought myself back far enough to not get burned but it was a struggle and reading her blog has a way of making it easier calming the crashing waves. She put up an incredible post last night which you can read here. As I have said she has the most beautiful blog I have come across….and when you are feeling out of sorts it is good to go there and just look at the pictures…read a few words and soon a smile replaces the frown.

So to balance the anger and frustration that the Anna Mae posts bring about here is a bit of Rumi…

A few months ago I would have rolled my eyes at the idea of making friends with people on the internet!


MONICA CHARLES/JOY HARJO/ORDINARY SPARROW/MY WEIGHT ISSUES

I wanted to spend the weekend in The Redwoods

DUSTY REDWOODS ON A GRAVEL ROAD

DUSTY REDWOODS ON A GRAVEL ROAD

but life interfered and I am home this weekend although I am going hiking along the Rogue Gorge on Saturday!

THE UPPER ROGUE GORGE

THE UPPER ROGUE GORGE

Work(I need the money!) and conference calls took precedence plus it was raining and its not like I only go the  Redwoods once a year I go all the time it was a good decision because I had time to clean my house…well as clean as it can be with me living in it!!

I didn’t think I would have time to post anything of substance so I e-mailed Monica Charles and asked her if I could use some of her work and of course she gave me her permission but I had left already….But now that I am here I am taking the liberty of posting one of her poems that I read awhile ago. It starts off  “She had some wild cats” which I believe is a response to a poem by Joy Harjo called SHE HAD SOME HORSES. I don’t own any of Joy Harjo’s work but I need to she is one of those poets that every other Native American poet has outstanding things to say about. It makes me wonder… I certainly am no scholar but it seems that there is a lot of support among Indian writers and not the backstabbing jealousies among other literary groups.

WILD CATS

(For Joy Harjo)

She had some wild cats,
Bits of black fluff
abandoned as the white preacher
fled poverty’s flood
that engulfed his flock
in alcohol and drugs

She had some wild cats
who shared her cold spaghetti
cheeks blushed with sauce
They licked each others face
and rolled full-bellied
in the sweet cut grass

She had some wild cats
Who ran away when Dad died
They lived hard in the woods
Fasting and walking for a year
They came home lean silent and healed

She had some wild cats
Who went away to boarding school
And slept through the night
They loved to read books
And feel the weight of words
rolling from her fingers
As she mixed them on a page

She had some wild cats
Who loved with the passion
Of the wild west wind
who brings rains that flood
And flings down trees
that refuse to bend

She had some wild cats
That bathed in icy rivers
They painted their faces
and sang the sun into the sky
Defying white laws of gravity

She had some wild cats
Cats that lived in cartoons
And chased technicolor mice
tiptoeing past the dog
Day after silly day

She had some wild cats
who learned to hate themselves
For their beautiful brown skin
And flew their car into a tree
Into the fabled tunnel of white light

She had some wildcats
who survived the crash
And took their first sober steps
Since their cousin gave them beer
At their ninth birthday party

She had some wildcats
Who learned to love themselves
Bought a second hand computer
And wrote poetry plays and stories
To begin the healing

byJoy Harjo


She had some horses.She had horses who were bodies of sand.
She had horses who were maps drawn of blood.
She had horses who were skins of ocean water.
She had horses who were the blue air of sky.
She had horses who were fur and teeth.
She had horses who were clay and would break.
She had horses who were splintered red cliff.

She had some horses.

She had horses with long, pointed breasts.
She had horses with full, brown thighs.
She had horses who laughed too much.
She had horses who threw rocks at glass houses.
She had horses who licked razor blades.

She had some horses.

She had horses who danced in their mothers’ arms.
She had horses who thought they were the sun and their bodies shone and burned like stars.
She had horses who waltzed nightly on the moon.
She had horses who were much too shy, and kept quiet in stalls of their own making.

She had some horses.

She had horses who liked Creek Stomp Dance songs.
She had horses who cried in their beer.
She had horses who spit at male queens who made them afraid of themselves.
She had horses who said they weren’t afraid.
She had horses who lied.
She had horses who told the truth, who were stripped bare of their tongues.

She had some horses.

She had horses who called themselves, “horse.”
She had horses who called themselves, “spirit.” and kept their voices secret and to themselves.
She had horses who had no names.
She had horses who had books of names.

She had some horses.

She had horses who whispered in the dark, who were afraid to speak.
She had horses who screamed out of fear of the silence, who carried knives to protect themselves from ghosts.
She had horses who waited for destruction.
She had horses who waited for resurrection.

She had some horses.

This is not the end you can read the rest of her wonderful poem here.

Joy Harjo has a wonderful website that you can link to here.

I THINK THAT DRESS IS A 6

I THINK THAT DRESS IS A 6

I look like Elvira…..those are my sister’s feet and I was rubbing them while she was in the hospital resting after delivering her first child. I think I had been drinking in a bar while she was delivering…that shit scares me..that’s why I don’t have any children….I just borrow them for a few hours and give them back!!! No matter how skinny I am I have a double chin!!! I was fucking miserable when I was this thin…it was a lot of work and my boyfriends would still criticize my weight. Now I’m like….FUCK YOU! On a funnier note I don’t have a picture but I got very skinny by not eating at one point in my life and this guy came up to me and said “I’ll fuck you if you lose 10 pounds.” People are horrified that I think that is funny….but you would have had to know the pig guy. He was someone that I would have not let around my pristine vagina for a billion dollars. Seriously a billion dollars I would walk away from.  I do have a sense of humor and it was funny and I still laugh when I think about it!

ME IN UTAH AT PROBABLY A SIZE 10 OR 12

ME IN UTAH AT PROBABLY A SIZE 10 OR 12

This is the trip that had me awakening to nature. I had come to terms with myself and was very happy with my weight and size. It wasn’t hard to maintain at all. Living back East men still thought I was a big fat cow but I really didn’t care.

Me now at size 16/18

Me now at size 16/18

Actually this picture is from a couple years ago but things have not changed. I lose 15 I gain 15…..into infinity. Until yesterday when I bought a scale I didn’t know how much I weighed……

216.3!!!!

Aside from my feet hurting when I am standing on tile or concrete (I did by a pair of Crocs last week and I love them!) when I go to buy shirts…maybe because I hike and am somewhat active….the armpits drop to my waist. Like my arms are as big as my legs!!!

And fuck that nonsense about the fat tax….that is just a bunch of nonsense!!! I say to that lets have a genetic tax. Cause I have superior Portuguese genes and have never been in a hospital. Occasionally I will have an allergy attack but not since I have moved to back to the West coast. My grandmother lived to 92 and she was a fat round Portuguese but walked until her final weeks without any help and could get into my Dad’s big Dodge Ram Diesel. She walked better than skinny old people at 60!!! My grandfather was one of those bad alcoholics who apparently would resort to drinking rubbing alcohol and aftershave out of desperation but he only succumbed to stomach cancer in his 70’s. He smoked a few packs of unfiltered Pall Malls too boot! My mother smokes about two or three packs of cigarettes a day and in her sixties the doctors are still amazed that her lungs are so clear when they x-ray them.

I know this guy who is rail thin and he used to get upset with me because my cholesterol was lower while his was in the 300’s and he was on medication!!! I thought that was funny because on the way to my cholesterol test I was eating peanutbutter balls!!! The Doctor shook his head and said well it its too high we’ll take it again but you’ll have to fast…it was below 150 and the nurse was really pissed. I run into pissed off healthcare workers all the time….I have low blood pressure too!

Its all about the genes and in reality I think it would be ridiculous to tax women because they have the breast cancer gene…

Seriously though this is all about self-hatred. America’s weight issues are not going to be solved by taxing people what’s next a low IQ tax???a big nose tax??? tits too small tax??? Apparently people that engage in anal sex have increased rates of anal cancer…should we start taxing people for their sex lives???

I have been wandering again getting back to my weight…I will be writing a post on it every week good or bad.